Spalocal

Just the word “tequila” sends the upper portion of my stomach into a nauseated frenzy. Shots of Sauza and Jose Cuervo crammed in the tight quarters of a college dorm room were enough to forget the stresses of midterms. The problem was I also forgot my name, how to speak correctly and also how to walk without running into walls. Not to mention my liver, stomach and head were joining forces against the wrath of the gold tinged substance in the pretty glass bottle. From then until now the mention, the sight, the smell of what I regard as “the vile substance” causes my nose to curl and my stomach to tumble reminding me of my own personal vendetta against tequila. But apparently late night booze fests are not only the choice of undergrads, but also for wealthy spa-goers seeking to integrate a bit of alcohol into their daily dose of detoxification.

Booze therapy is the new treatment at many spas worldwide. A far cry from Alcoholics Anonymous, this particular treatment looks to integrate intoxicants into a detoxifying procedure. It may sound confusing, but the simple allure of sipping a frothy lager while lounging in your beer yeast bath can itself be intoxicating. Imagine: if they included a big screen TV, complete with a football game and chips and dip, day spas might just be the new “man’s world.”

The Apuane Spa at the Four Seasons Resort in Punta Mita, Mexico offers what is known as the Hakali Massage. Not for the faint of heart or weak stomached this unusual treatment incorporates cactus paddles that are first soaked in a hydrating tequila blend, then kneaded on to the skin in what they describe as “the ultimate in rejuvenation.” They say it will rehydrate one’s skin and remove unnecessary toxins, but all I can think of is prickly thorns, hangovers and dehydration. Then again, who am I to judge? For those looking to toxify and detoxify whilst covering their bodies with the strong woodsy smell of a well aged tequila, don’t forget a pinch of salt and a squeeze of lime goes a long way.